you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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