You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
