She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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