just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
