She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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