He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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