just come out here and I will go home with you...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
