Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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