nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
