so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Congratulations! We have a period
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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