all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
