I wanna bring you to show and tell
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
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