Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize