oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
