There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
