Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize