Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
