Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
