I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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