Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
