I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
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