wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
