Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
