i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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