I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
