so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
