Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize