I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize