I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
whose parrot is this?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
