I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
