Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
