Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
