Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
