it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
My vagina just recognized that song.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
