Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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