i don't like sucking hair
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
