Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
