dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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