i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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