I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
