Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I did not marry a roomba.
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