dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
