I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
You smell like stripper and shame
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
