my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
