Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
