Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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