we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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