are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
