I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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