after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I need to calm my uterus...
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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