Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize