Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Too much gin, very little bucket
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
