It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
