you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I have aggressive nipples.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
