If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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