Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
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