I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
