Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
