and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
you had me at cake vodka
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize