i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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