am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Randomize
