it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
