It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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