Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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