dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
