just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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