dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
