Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
