that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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