this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
