We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
