Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
